Breaking Generational Patterns: Transform Your Legacy and Heal for the Future

Generational trauma influences many of us without our awareness, shaping our behaviors and emotional responses in profound ways. By understanding these inherited patterns, we can take steps to break the cycle, heal, and create healthier legacies for future generations.

• Defining generational trauma and its impact on families 
• Recognizing signs and behavioral patterns of inherited trauma 
• Steps to breaking the cycle of trauma in one's life 
• The importance of seeking support and creating new traditions 
• The long-term ripple effect of personal healing on future generations

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Chapters

• 0:00 Breaking Generational Trauma Cycles
• 7:45 Empowering Generational Healing Through Breaking Cycles

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:39

Hey, motives, it's your girl. Tone Motivates back with another episode of Shades of Tone, and today we're going to be chatting about breaking generational cycles and overcoming inherited trauma. So let's set the stage. What is generational trauma? Generational trauma is like that old box in your storage. You didn't pack it, you didn't put it there, but somehow you've inherited it and now it's your job to decide what to do with it. Simply put, it's the emotional and psychological baggage passed down through families, like an old hand-me-down you didn't ask for but feel obligated to keep. Some examples are fear of scarcity, which is like financial trauma, or struggles with trust from histories of betrayal. So think about a habit or belief in your family that you've questioned. Could it be rooted in something deeper than just tradition? Hmm, now let's chat a little bit about how trauma is passed down With the science of inherited trauma. Imagine your DNA is like a recipe. Trauma adds spicy chili powder to it. Sometimes you don't even realize it until you take a bite Now with epigenetics. Stress and trauma can influence gene expression and behavior across generations. Can influence gene expression and behavior across generations, family dynamics and behaviors.

Speaker 1: 2:10

Trauma can manifest in family habits, emotional suppression In our family. We don't talk about feelings. My family was big on this. My mom's idea of apology was buying a CD, pillow magazine or something else she knew I would forgive her for, without actually saying I apologize. As I got older, I promised myself as a kid that I would never sweep things under the rug. When I got older, as an adult, I realized, although my family is filled with so much information we're very informative and we speak kind of regularly Difficult times bring silence or someone ignoring the other and one day just starting to talk again. To this day this grinds my gears, but at the least everyone knows I'm going to say what I need to say regardless, and for now I just hope that these steps are knocking down the wall of that norm that's been concrete for so many years. Now I can at least say that with my kids they know that mommy will say that she's wrong, always prove your case, and things like that. So I know that in my immediate family, the family that I created, that this does apply, but I just hope that it would apply more to my extended family.

Speaker 1: 3:25

So again, trauma can manifest in family habits. It could be emotional suppression and overachievement or fear of failure. If not perfect, you're not enough. Next, we have cultural and historical trauma. Examples of this could be historical oppression or discrimination, war, poverty or displacement. I challenge you. So think about one family rule or saying you grew up hearing. Write it down and ask yourself where did this come from and does it still serve me? I'm going to help you recognize the cycles in your life.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So first, we have signs of generational trauma, behavioral patterns. When you're triggered, are you defensive? Are you aggressive? Do you fear taking risks? Do you talk yourself out of things you know you deserve? Do you have difficulty expressing emotions? Do you sit quietly or assume how you feel doesn't matter? Do you have relationship struggles? You keep your distance so people don't get too close to you. Do you repeat toxic dynamics? Do you meet the same kind of people over and over again? Do you avoid vulnerability? Do you avoid getting to know others? So, as an excuse not to be vulnerable, let's reflect. So grab a journal, notebook or paper and write down three recurring patterns you've noticed in your family.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Are there similarities between your parents, grandparents and your own life? For me and my immediate family, my mom has four girls and was a single mom. We always had enough, but we developed an always tomorrow mentality. We can always pay a bill next week. Buy those shoes. Now Turns out. My mom helped us develop this from going without so many years while raising us on her own. Now. She did have great, great, great times, but she also had some low times, which was the polar opposite of the great experiences that she had. She by all means deserves whatever she wants, but is it appropriate at that time, the trauma of neglect, isolation running for her life and being in survival mode more times than not? Why are her to be that way? Let's chat about breaking the cycle.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Step one is awareness. You can't fix what you don't recognize. Start by observing the patterns without judgment. Typically, the things that trigger you are a reflection of what you need to recognize and work on. I have a fun exercise for you Create a family tree of patterns. Map out emotional tendencies or repeated behaviors across generations. You might notice some eye-opening trends. Step two let's rewrite the narrative. Think of yourself as an editor. You can't delete the story, but you can rewrite the ending. Practice, practice, practice, practice. Challenge beliefs that don't serve you Ask yourself is this fear really mine or did I inherit it? If it's not mine, I can let go.

Speaker 1: 6:49

Step three seek support, therapy and professional help. A therapist is like a tour guide for your emotional history. They can help you navigate the tough terrain. Like I always say, I'm only a few steps ahead of you as your tour guide. Now you can also talk to trusted family members and have compassionate conversations about the past to better understand its impact. Step four create new traditions. Break old habits by building new ones. If your family avoided emotions, start a gratitude journal or have weekly check-in chats, challenge what's one tradition or habit you'd like to start for yourself or your family. Write it down and commit to it.

Speaker 1: 7:45

Let's reflect a little bit on our future and talk about the ripple effect of healing. Healing yourself is like planting a tree. You you might not enjoy all the shade, but your future generations will thank you for it. Breaking cycles is very empowering. Every step you take to break a cycle is a gift to yourself and those who come after you. I have another prompt for you. Think of one cycle you've committed to breaking. How would that decision impact your future and the people around you? You didn't choose the wounds you inherited, but you can choose to heal them. By breaking cycles, you're not just changing your life. You're changing the story for generations to come. Now, if this episode resonated with you, share it with someone you care about and let me know what's one cycle you're ready to break. I love to celebrate your journey, as always, always, love.