Navigating Life's Voyage: Transformative Learning, Career Shifts, and Embracing Self-Value

Reflecting on a year that reshaped my very essence, I've come to cherish three words that now define my journey: transformative, learning, and self-value. The paths we tread often surprise us with their twists and turns, and mine led to a revelation in the joy of mentoring the next generation. As I unfurl my story, from the healthcare trenches to the exhilarating world of wellness coaching and motivational speaking, you're not just a listener—you're a confidant. Together, we'll reminisce about the unexpected allies we find in strangers and the profound satisfaction in nurturing young minds towards genuine self-discovery.

Transitioning careers can feel like steering a ship through uncharted waters, but I've learned to set my course by the stars of aspiration and perseverance. I take you aboard my voyage, from solidifying my roots in healthcare to the bold venture of a nursing degree while sustaining my spirit through substitute teaching. The heart of this episode beats with tales of balancing the professional with the personal, as I juggle aspirations of further education with the thrill of assisting in my son's company, Colab ENT. It's about learning to set those crucial boundaries, keeping friendships enriching, and remembering to tend to oneself amidst the hustle.

Closing the episode on a playful note, I offer a cheeky nudge to everyone out there with big dreams: break them down, take that first step, and let the doubters fuel your fire. With a sprinkle of humor and a dash of candor, I share my goals for the year, from digital ventures to enhancing my life's organization. Let's walk through this together, step by intentional step, towards a horizon of love, authenticity, and the sweet taste of goals achieved. Join me for this heartwarming and honest session, where we celebrate the leaps we've made and the boundless journeys yet to come.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:39

Kick in the door for 2024. What's really good, guys. How y'all feeling out there? Motives First podcast of 2024. I hope you guys miss me because I missed you, but your girl has been out here running, stutting and dunking on them all right, let me just tell you that. So, before I start with all my antics and stuff like that cause I'm so excited, y'all know what I'm gonna start off with, right, 2024 quote. So I want you guys to know it is never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.

Speaker 1: 1:36

You heard Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings. So, with that being said, three words for me to describe my 2023 is that it was life changing, that I will continue to be a student because I am a teacher and self worth okay. All of the seeds that I've been planting over the last couple years have literally began to come into fruition. Everything, guys, wait till I tell y'all how aligned your girl is, all right. And one of the things that make me smile every time I think about it is that I am really a teacher. I'm really out here teaching people all kinds of things, and I am humble enough to know that, with being a teacher and with having wisdom and with spreading that knowledge, that I have to continuously be a student and I look forward to that. Like I said several times before, I look forward to learning something new every day. I'll usually tell the person or whoever's around me once I learned something like oh, that's what I learned today, or whatever the case may be. So I really really believe in that. So I wanna ask you guys a couple questions and I'll answer them as well, and with answering it, you can write into us, you can hit up my social media, whatever the case is, because when you guys reach out to me, I will mention it on the next show. So what's the most important lesson you learned? Hmm, what's that most important lesson you learned for 2024? Get on the floor and show them what you got Bars.

Speaker 1: 3:42

So for me and I believe I said this before I believe that strangers will support you more than your circle, and it's because strangers are likely to see your vision without being biased okay, they're unbiased, because they don't know you, they don't know your background, they don't know you personally. All of that, and what I mean is the information that you give them and that they need that information, that they're willing to pay for that information and that they want to hear more stuff from you or get more information from you, whereas your circle may tend to look at you from the old lenses of your old self. And I've found that I've had to have this conversation over and over again only to the people that are still in my life, that I ain't putting boundaries and discernment up against, but I had to let them know. Okay, yes, that might have been me back then, but that's not me, no more. So don't come at me that way, don't assume those things, because when you assume me, make an S out of you and me. Okay, so, just having that conversation with my family and my friends those the ones that I hold dear and near to my heart, because sometimes they might notice a little bit of a change for you, to you and you, but they don't realize how much you've actually changed, or that you have completely shed that old shell and that you're a whole, nother person.

Speaker 1: 5:05

I like to look at myself as a teenage mutant. At the turtle I have a very hard out of shell, but once you get in baby and one stole walls or a nail. I am squishy and lovable and I just want to be loved on. So the next question is what's one new skill that you learn? What is one new skill that you've learned? So I learned that when I was younger. I'm the oldest of seven, excuse me, oldest of eight. I'm the eighth and pretty much. You know I always wanted to be the cool auntie. I'm going to get the kids. We go on vacation and travel and all that, but I look forward to dropping them back off.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Like I never really imagined having kids because I had to help so much in the house growing up with my sisters and stuff like that, so I never really wanted to have kids. And even with that being said, you know I still only have one. He just turned 17 a couple of weeks ago and you know he's about to be an adult. You know, off the college or you know, create the business with the trade that he's learning in high school and I really learned that I do love kids in all aspects and that a lot of my therapy and coaching is actually for them. So I'm a done a couple of interviews like a back to school interview and all that stuff and the main thing that I learned with just being that shoulder for my friends and family to cry on is that a lot of us was toxic as hell.

Speaker 1: 6:35

We were toxic as hell. We didn't really know what love was. We didn't learn it and we had to navigate and figure out things on our own. And we're figuring out those things. It was trial and error A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot a trial and error. So I started to think if I could begin to catch these kids and reach out to these kids and give them the tools that they needed, it would prevent a whole nother generation of toxicity. So I stand firm on that new skill I learned with my niche being those babies, because those babies need us more than ever and as we're still learning to love and grow and be our best, authentic selves. You know there are it's room for error as far as raising our kids. So that's where I come in at. So if your child is struggling in school or anything like that, reach out to info at ToleMotivatescom and you know I have some free sessions. We can have a call and all that stuff and see if I am a good fit for your child and getting them on the right track.

Speaker 1: 7:41

So the next question is how do you want to show up in the coming year? Who do you want to be, what frame of mind do you want to be in and what do you want to accomplish? So, firstly, I want to continue to show up authentically. Okay, it's not too many of me's out there, you know, and, like I said, I am a humble person, but I, in the words of the great dang dad, she said he ain't going to be humble, he great. That humility is out of the window If he doesn't tell himself great. He not waiting for you to tell him, he know he great and he going to stand on that, and that really resonated with me. So I want to continue to show up authentically as myself. And I know that I make such an impact on people because you know, people literally call me back for events and all that stuff. Like I just love how your boisterous and the energy that you bring to the room and, you know, compared to other people's, like I know I, you know I rather you do, I rather use you. Could you come back? Could you do this for us? Could you do that for us? And I appreciate that.

Speaker 1: 8:46

The next one is who do you want to be? I want to continue to be a resource and person of substance. Death and wisdom Period. So what frame of mind do you want to be in? And I want a healthy mind, no negative self-talk or beating myself up. I will give myself grace, but continue to hold myself accountable. And, last but not least, what do you want to accomplish? I want to accomplish and grow in everything that I started in 2023 and before that. Now I feel like I am being tested because it's like I. You planted these seeds, you've been watering them, you've been putting them in the sun, you've been taking them. You know bringing them inside when it's bad weather. Are you going to stand on what you planted? And I'm here to tell you guys, I'm standing in that damn grass, with them plants, with them, fruits and vegetables, barefoot. I don't need no shoes because I'm standing on business barefoot, dirt, toes in the grass, in the dirt, all of that. I'm not playing with nothing. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about my 2023 into 2024 and where I am now. So I think I told you guys before I'm sure that I did that.

Speaker 1: 10:03

I had a career and I recently left it, in August. I was with the company for 10 years. I trained over like four or 500 nurses and technicians and the last two and a half years of my career I traveled all over North America. I was a supervisor and I helped deploy software that would increase the quality of life for the patients that we served. And although I loved, loved, loved that job and the traveling aspect of it and I finally got my flowers in some way as a supervisor, I still felt like there was something more out there, something else out there for me, with having a bachelor's degree in healthcare administration and still not feeling like I was completely appreciated in my field. So Anybody to tell you, I talk things into existence, I'm a powerful manifester. I am going to do my affirmations, I'm going to talk about things as it is already happening. I can smell it, I can see it, I can literally visualize whatever it is that I want once I have set my mind.

Speaker 1: 11:14

So, around the time that I applied for the position, I was telling my boyfriend at the time I waited all summer to hear back and I told him after the interview because I interviewed at his house I'm like, look, because it was over Zoom, still kind of COVID times, and I'm like, look, if I don't get this job, then I'm just going to leave the company. But I know I got it. I know I got it. And when I called him and I told him that I got it, he was like yo, you are no joke, like you literally manifested and prayed for this the entire summer. I'm like what's mine is mine and I just had a good feeling about it. So I got the job and I signed forward and all that stuff and then I said, okay, since this is going to give me more freedom to do more of the things that I want, since it's a work from home job, besides the time that I'm traveling, I'm going to really focus, make sure when I am out there on the road that it's all self care, it's all business, it's all you know. Feeding into tone motivates Wow, I continue to get that bag and figure things out. So fast forward.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Two and a half years later, you know I had a couple bonuses and all the extra stuff. Collectively in that two and a half years, I say I made about 170, 180k, right? So people would look at you like you're crazy, like all right. So why did you leave? I said the entire time that I was working that I was probably going to leave. Now I was open to taking on a position if they created one that was in the lane that I was doing as far as self development and personal development and all that stuff, and since they were such a big company, they did have room and resources to be able to create that. But I will say that I did drop the ball because I never actually told the main person, the person above the directors, what it was that I wanted. But I did all kinds of presentations and led meetings on self care and how to be your best self and all that stuff. So in some ways they did know. But I just felt like it was time for me to take a break.

Speaker 1: 13:22

As far as healthcare goals, now, healthcare is my passion and always my passion because I'm a nurturer. So I do plan on going to school for my nursing degree when I can pay cash for it. I don't want any more student loan debt. So that still is a goal, because it doesn't matter if the world's gonna end tomorrow. If I have my nursing degree, at the least I can take care of people in my community, my family, my friends, stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 13:44

So I left the company. So I didn't really have anything planned after that. It's like all right, I got the podcast in. I still do the hosting and things like that, but it wasn't nothing solidified, right. So I was talking to a medical director that I had met while I was working my career and we started talking a little bit, going back and forth and stuff like that, and I mentioned to him that I was a wellness coach, a motivational influencer and all that stuff. So I went and got my cognitive behavior therapy certification and then my mom referred me and said hey, you have college credits, won't you just be a sub for right now? Be a sub teacher and you can get the. You could make money while you're trying to figure everything out. So she mentioned it once or twice and I and then, as we're getting in late August, early September, I'm like, all right, let me just get all of this stuff out of the way. So I went and got my fingerprints, my sub certification, all that stuff just got out the way, cause I'm like, you know what's the no brainer? I can tell them when I want to work, when I don't want to work, whatever the case may be.

Speaker 1: 14:48

So around this time I am putting out rills and content and cause to action for my cognitive behavior therapy but I'm not really getting much feedback. I am hearing my friends at this time and my sisters and stuff like that. You know the kids are struggling a little bit but you know it's not necessarily really big on my mind to, you know, do therapy with them Because you know, with having doing therapy sessions with kids, you have to go do the parents. You know what I mean. It's basically up to the parents. So it's not up to the kids to be home or be available and all that stuff. It's up to the parent. So I wasn't really thinking about it. So One night I'm laying in bed, it's like October and I'm like, well, why the hell they ain't call me for no sub you know no sub gigs yet.

Speaker 1: 15:34

And literally the following day my mom was like pick up the phone. So I'm so gonna call you. They need you at a school. They need you desperately. That are at eyes not that far or whatever.

Speaker 1: 15:42

So I spoke to the representative. He let me know where I was supposed to be going and all that, and like the following day I went to this charter school and they threw me in a class with kindergarten as honey. They threw me the class of kindergarten as guys Ain't no more looking cute and all that stuff. These kids kicked my ass. But I will say within like the second or third day doing that, I didn't even know how much I enjoyed the intimacy of hugs you ever had hugs from 20 little people. Number one is hard try not to fall and I hurt nobody with everybody pushing you back as they're trying to hug you. But even though they were bad and I don't like to say bad, but you know they gave me a run for my money they were so innocent and Authentic, like at that age you are your genuine, true self and then for the rest of your life You're trying to get back to that authenticity. So I really, really enjoyed it.

Speaker 1: 16:41

So they had coffee there as a sub teacher because one of the teachers was out sick. So eventually the teacher came back. But it's like 20 candy garden students. So it was cool having three teachers in there, you know. And the teacher that I had met the first day, she really took me under her wing, you know, gave me all of the scoop and stuff, like girl trying to stay here at this school because other schools ain't like this, do it all like it's really a family here all day. So I'm on my best behavior, best behavior. But with me coming there, they also Got my resume right. So I'm working, working, working.

Speaker 1: 17:14

And one day the director of the social emotional learning program caught me into the office, asked me how everything was going and said look, we still got some things to iron out and all that stuff, but we want you to be the SCL teacher here. And Literally in my head, you know, trying to keep my composure because it is business, I am dropping up and down like a little girl, literally up and down, like, oh my god, I don't. Went from motivational coach to get my cognitive behavior certificate, to leave in my job to Coming to this school as a sub teacher for kindergarten really, you know, coming back in contact with my, my inner child. And now they asked me to be the goddamn SCL teacher. So I say, yes, ma'am, I will be honored. So within a couple weeks they call me into their office like, all right, boom, here you go, you're the SCL teacher today.

Speaker 1: 18:04

So I became the SCL and art teacher for grades K through 8 at this charter school out here in Jersey, and it's challenging. I'm not going front, but when I say it is so aligned with everything that I Wanted in life, it's ridiculous. So before I was offered the SCL position, I'm like you know what, let me try to start have having therapy sessions for kids. You know we could do it over zoom so they don't have to get together. In this way I can offer my services to kids around the world. You know, not just in Jersey or in my town, or you know the towns around me.

Speaker 1: 18:43

So I started off with a couple of friends, kids my nephew, two of my nephews, my goddaughter, all that right and one of the kids were. They had anxiety, they hated math, they felt like they were bad and mad. So they just, you know, obviously just was doing bad and math and after about four weeks of my sessions this boy was an honor roll student, math included. Okay, these kids really took to it. They text me when I'm meeting net net, when the me and miss Tonya, and they just ate it up.

Speaker 1: 19:19

So now I went from, you know, maybe exercising every day, but feeling stuck, not able to create, and none of that in the summertime, you know, just trying to put things out there, but I'm not happy. I'm feeling like where do I go? What's next to? Literally every single day of the week I had something to do. Every single day of the week I had something to do. So I had told myself, since I wasn't traveling for my birthday in October, that I would do a bunch of things that I always said that I was gonna do. So I had a fairest woman, so I took swimming classes. Anything that I was putting off, I basically jumped out the window and I did it for the most part. Anytime that I'm feeling down or, you know, just like not myself, I would go to therapy. But I started going to therapy because everything was right. You know, I wanted to share the good things as well, not only the bad.

Speaker 1: 20:13

So on Mondays, honey, I come home and I'm doing the Poverty Prevention Specialist meetings after work. On Tuesdays, I come home. I've got some lessons. On Wednesdays, I come home. I got the kids zoom session. On Thursdays, I come home, I got something else and I think once Friday comes around, the days actually Slowed down, and I did that for months, months, right.

Speaker 1: 20:39

So I Did the swimming lessons and the girl used to look at me and laugh at me like, tonya, everything that I asked you to do, you know how to do, I might guess, because it was a fear. And she's like, well, I don't know what you're fearing, because you could float, you could stroke, you could do everything that you're supposed to be doing. So just practice and get in the water more. But you good. So I was like, oh, okay, alright, so some time passed. I'm getting used to the SCL and art teacher thing. My checks, honey, say tone motivates LLC. Don't play with it. Do not play with it. So your girl is 100% entrepreneur, like she said she was going to do.

Speaker 1: 21:20

And then the kindergarten teacher that was out sick when I first started abruptly passed. She was younger than me, beautiful girl, had kids and everything, and I really took everybody aback. You know it really did. And you know I appreciated how much the other kindergarten teacher, you know, appreciated me because I was there for them and I wanted to be there for them. Nobody had to ask me I was offering Any free periods that I had or prep periods or whatever. I wanted to be with that teacher and I wanted to be with them kids, you know, and it just really really humbled me because it was a reminder that we can be here today and going tomorrow, and it just really put more fire under my ass to do what I was here to do and that's whatever the hell it is that I wanted to do, all right. So rest in peace to Miss Johnson. We miss you, girl.

Speaker 1: 22:21

So so far, I told you how I left for career, I started a new career, how I'm going to eventually go back to school for nursing once I start paying cash for it, because I had been looking into it but I got to fit time in my schedule, and all that because I know nursing class is not no joke. But hopefully I'll just have to get my nursing certificate, since I already have a bachelor's degree. So if anybody knows anything about that in New Jersey, hit me up. I appreciate it. So, in addition to that, my in-laws, my son's family, they have a company called Collab ENT and it basically showcased local artists. It doesn't have to be local artists, just up-and-coming artists in general. So you know I always do that. They did that, but for some reason we just really got back in touch and started kicking it and all of that. So I started hosting stuff and now tone is regularly doing set the tone interviews at these showcases, basically just spotlighting the performers and the producers and artists in general that come through Collab ENT.

Speaker 1: 23:31

So I mean I am stoked, all right, I am truly in alignment with everything in my life. I have had to have hard or tough conversations with some people, letting them know look, I need my space, there are some things going on around me, there is some energy that is not mine as being projected to me, and I believe that it might be coming through you not necessarily you, but because of the people that you hang around, they are able to push that energy through to try to get to me and sabotage or whatever the hell it is they try to do, and I block that shit. Return to center. But at the end of the day, I have to stand on what I believe in and a lot of times you know we are friends to people that are not friends to us. Right, you are consistently there for them, but you could never. They're not even a thought when you're in need or if you need something. You know what I mean, but you're one of the first people on the list when they need something. So just consistently putting up those boundaries and discernment, like I let y'all know a couple episodes ago, it's still flashing, it's still flashing, it's still neon lights in my head Discernment, boundaries, all of that stuff. But I felt good about it.

Speaker 1: 24:41

I'm not going to consistently sit here and start to beat myself up because I was a people pleaser or because I felt like, because I am a giver, because I am a nurturer, that I'm supposed to give my all and not nurture myself. And that's the main thing that I've learned as far as me being a nurturer if I'm not nurturing myself and I'm not doing what I got to do for myself, baby, there is no outside nurturing. Okay, if I'm not at 100%, there's nothing that I can give to anyone. If my house is not good, there's nothing I can do outside of the house. Not to say that I ain't going to have no bad days, because the first week of New Year's, baby, they kicked my ass. I am not going to front it kicked my ass, but I did fall off as far as my routine and rituals and self care, self love, my spiritual practices and all that I said. Bump it. I'm a teacher now.

Speaker 1: 25:34

I got that winter break, so I'm a break on everything, and that proved to be detrimental to me. So I have learned that, regardless of what I want to take a break on, I take in a break, or my spiritual practices and all that stuff for more than a day, maybe two days at a time, because baby, baby, your girl was going. The rule it's okay. So Back to regular schedule. Program Relationships are not. You have to continue to set those boundaries. You have to continue to, you know, have that Discernment and at the end of the day, just remember that you are you for a reason and if you're not at 100% and your cup is not full, how much are you going to pour into another cup?

Speaker 1: 26:19

So in addition to that, with me not having all of those distractions and me just pouring into myself, you know, I started to be around a couple of new people, you know, and I met, someone, dated them briefly, but they didn't really seem emotionally available and they just had a stigma for Libras. The last three, four people they dealt with was Libras and they just did the wrong and I felt bad because of that, but I also felt like he judged me because of those reasons. So we left that right there as far as like business and stuff like that. We still see each other. He's a great dude, handsome guy, but no, at this point you know what I mean. But right after that I I met someone and he just really showed me that a new person can show you they more serious than someone you love for years. A new person can come, do and do all the things you ask someone old to do, simply because they wanted to do it, simply, you know.

Speaker 1: 27:22

So it really was confirmation for me that, with all the heartache and you know Things that I went through in my love life because you know I anybody to tell you I stand on my business, baby. I stand on my business. I stand on my brand. If I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. If I can't, I'll let you know. But people know that I don't play when it comes to my business. You know I mean.

Speaker 1: 27:44

But with my love life I was still like very trial and error. I'm a Libra, so you know we're real big on partnerships, but we also tend to lose ourselves in those partnerships and you know I noticed that I was doing that a little bit, not necessarily losing myself, it wasn't necessarily negative, but it's like alright, you know, what did you do today for your business, what did you do yesterday for your business, what did you do today before that, before your business, like those kind of things? So I just kind of really snapped out of it. I had that conversation With my person and I let them know, like look, we're both business-minded individuals and we both been slipping, we both haven't been doing what we supposed to be doing, because you know, we're enjoying us, it's new, all of that and it's nothing wrong with that. But we got to get back to original program, which we did. What? Where did so in addition to that?

Speaker 1: 28:39

Because I know I've been rambling, but you know I gotta tell you guys, I gotta give all y'all the scoop, cuz I'm my family and yeah, I'm my family, I'm so I had to do what I have to do. Okay, boobing, I'm okay, boobing. I'm sorry, guys, I'm in a silly mood, as always. You know, I'm very more boisterous and I'm about to say moisture is that too. But I'm very boisterous and stuff like that, and I just love Life. I'm very childlike when it comes to just enjoying life, being silly, all of that stuff. So you know, it just comes.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Naturally, it's not a show if you see me in the street, I'm the same way but I want to talk to you guys for a second about goals, every creating. You know, creating those goals. So one of the main things that I tell my clients adults, kids, chickens, ducks, whoever you are the time is gonna pass anyway. You know what I mean. The time is going to pass anyway. So do you continue to just sit around and not do anything, or do you take those baby steps? So at the end of the year, it could be a mile?

Speaker 1: 29:41

I, I encourage you to, to Do all that you can. You know little baby steps, this little thing. Set tiny goals, you know. Set your year goal and then break it down to little actionable steps so that you can Accomplish them and, before you know it, the whole damn thing that she said you's gonna do is already accomplished. So for me, my goals are going to be to create more digital products, be more organized, continue to limit distractions and, of course, baby, give the haters something to hate, cuz I hate is your ain't doing something right. So, as Always, guys, you already know what it is. It is. Your girl is back in full force and, as always, always love.